We live in an age where sharing is second nature, but a little mystery never hurt a good conversation. Trust, after all, is much nicer when it has time to grow. So, with replies arriving in ever greater numbers, we wanted to remind you to enjoy the thrill of new connections while embracing the wonderful little secret that is your exclusive member number.
If you grew up in Britain, you may remember the haunting Public Information Film “Where's Your Child?” from the 1980s. If you spent time stateside, you may know another familiar refrain before the late-night news: "Do you know where your children are?" The campaign even enlisted the help of Sophia Loren, Andy Warhol, Grace Jones, and Cyndi Lauper. If they could spare a moment to ask where everyone else's children were, we hope they'll forgive us for asking a rather more modern question: “Do you know where your personal details are?” Not in the existential sense. We don't mean your passport or the piece of paper with all your passwords on it. We mean the inevitable trail of information we all leave behind without really noticing.
We're all sitting on a little goldmine, yet unfortunately, it's usually everyone else doing the mining. Most of us have, at one time or another, cheerfully clicked "I Agree" to several thousand words of Terms and Conditions without reading a single one. We download an app, upload a smiling photograph, add an email address, a phone number, perhaps a birthday for good measure, and before we've even exchanged a proper hello, another small part of ourselves has been filed away on a server somewhere. Indeed, it's become so ordinary that we barely think about it.
One of the pleasures of The Lonely Hearts Club is that we've always set out to do things differently. Our members have numbers, not profiles. Your membership number is yours for life. It lets you get to know someone without immediately revealing your surname, where you live, your mobile number, or the email address you've had since 2004. There's no rush. We'd argue that's rather the point.
We're writing this because many of you are receiving more letters than ever before. We couldn't be happier, obviously. There are few better problems to have than wondering which envelope to open first. As correspondence blossoms, so do friendships, romances, and the perfectly natural urge to continue the conversation elsewhere. When that moment arrives, we'd simply encourage a little patience. Before you swap email addresses or phone numbers, take your time. If you do decide to move from letters to email, consider creating a separate email address just for your Lonely Hearts correspondence. It's free, takes only a few minutes, and gives you an extra layer of privacy without dampening the romance one jot. Letter writing has another advantage no app has quite managed to replicate: It slows us down. A letter can sit on the kitchen table while the kettle boils. It can be reread, even slept on. Excitement gets room to breathe, and trust gets room to grow.
We're not suggesting you become suspicious, just thoughtful. Your personal details are valuable. Share them because you choose to, not because a website asked nicely. So before you seal your next envelope, or eventually press "Send," perhaps borrow a question from those old public information campaigns. Do you know where your personal details are? We hope the answer is yes. After all, trust is one of life's few pleasures that cannot be rushed.